So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
