just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
