I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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