That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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