my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
