your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
50% drunk capacity currently
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
