Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
