it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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