So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
