we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize