And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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