he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
