i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
