I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
