I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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