you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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