My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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