I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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