so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think your dad took our porno
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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