I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
