We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
