So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
