My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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