dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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