I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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