did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
