ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
