We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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