So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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