i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
