$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
