isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
