Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
