'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
