dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have fence marks all over my body
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
