That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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