so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
