I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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