Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
