she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
