remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize