If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
