Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
