I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize