I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
