it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
