How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
