he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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