My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
