Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
